Well I’m the Lord of Time
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12.03.2014

Well I’m the Lord of Time

And I’m looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind, I didn’t just wake up this morning with a craving. New-new-Doctor. We are not of this race. We are not of this earth. Susan and I are wanderers in the fourth dimension of time and space. I just have one question… do you know how to fly this thing? Jamie, remind me to give you a lesson in tying knots, sometime. The world’s about to end, and here I am, stuck in traffic. I’m half human. On my mother’s side. Kidneys! I have kidneys. And I don’t like the colour.

Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted. All thirteen! You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords. It’s all right for you, Peri. You’ve only got one life. You’ll age here in the TARDIS and then die. But me, I shall go on regenerating until all my lives are spent. You ain’t seen nothing yet! Run. One day, just one day, maybe I’ll meet somebody who gets the whole ‘don’t wander off’ thing.

Nine hundred years of time and space, and I’ve never been slapped by someone’s mother. Your species has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity when trying to destroy itself. My dear Miss Shaw, I never report myself anywhere, particularly not forthwith. Oh, the pointing again! They’re screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them? You’ll never understand. I want to see the universe, not to rule it. Yeah? Well I’m the Lord of Time. Don’t you think she looks tired?

I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren’t there. I’ll tell you what, then: don’t…step on any butterflies. What have butterflies ever done to you? Jo, look. That’s Skaro. Small though it is, the human brain can be quite effective when working at full efficiency, not unlike myself! An old friend of mine. Well, enemy. The stuff of nightmares reduced to an exhibit. I’m getting old. Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted. No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan.

Low tech? Grace, this is a type 40 TARDIS, able to take you to any planet in the universe and to any date in that planet’s existence. Temporal physics. I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow. Now, don’t antagonize her. I love a happy medium! Smith. Doctor John Smith. We’re trying to defeat the Daleks, not start a jumble sale! My writing gets worse and worse. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear. I had to face my fear…that was more important than just going on living…. Would you like a jelly baby?

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