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19.03.2014

I’m absolutely sorted

I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren’t there. I’ll tell you what, then: don’t…step on any butterflies. What have butterflies ever done to you? Jo, look. That’s Skaro. Small though it is, the human brain can be quite effective when working at full efficiency, not unlike myself! An old friend of mine. Well, enemy. The stuff of nightmares reduced to an exhibit. I’m getting old. Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted. No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan.

Low tech? Grace, this is a type 40 TARDIS, able to take you to any planet in the universe and to any date in that planet’s existence. Temporal physics. I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow. Now, don’t antagonize her. I love a happy medium! Smith. Doctor John Smith. We’re trying to defeat the Daleks, not start a jumble sale! My writing gets worse and worse. Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear. I had to face my fear…that was more important than just going on living…. Would you like a jelly baby?

You may disguise your features but you can never disguise your intent. Nice to meet you, Rose. Am I having a midlife crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They’re scientific instruments not water pistols! This is a situation that requires tact and finesse. Fortunately, I am blessed with both. Are you listening to me? Please, when Torchwood comes to write my complete history, don’t tell people I travelled through time and space with her mother! He thinks I’m a charlatan, my Dear.

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12.03.2014

Always seeing patterns in things

A little gratitude wouldn’t irretrievably damage my ego. One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye Susan. Goodbye my dear. And I’m looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind, I didn’t just wake up this morning with a craving. Nice to meet you, Rose. I don’t like it. Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?

This stuff, or whoever sent it, is cleverer than we are. Unfortunate, isn’t it? How can you miss me? I’m easy to find. I’m the guy with two hearts, remember? Grace, I came back to life before your eyes. I held back death. Look, I can’t make your dream come true forever, but I can make it come true today. We’re trying to defeat the Daleks, not start a jumble sale! New-new-Doctor. Let’s go in! You know Jo, I sometimes think that military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. It may be irrational of me, but human beings are my favorite species.

People spend all their time making nice things and then other people come along and break them! Timing malfunction. The Master! He’s out there. I’ve got to stop… him… Allow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind that I’ve ever encountered. The best thing about a machine that makes sense is you can very easily make it turn out nonsense. [The Hand of Omega] is called that because Time Lords have an infinite capacity for pretension. t’s called the TARDIS, this thing. T-A-R-D-I-S. That’s Time And Relative Dimension In Space. That’s okay. Culture shock. Happens to the best of us.

Only the madman can see the way clearly through the tangled forest. Are these antiques dotted about all over the building? It really is a splendid piece of audioarchitectonicalmetrasynchosity! I just have one question… do you know how to fly this thing? Why is there never a big red button? Are you listening to me? Oh my word! And everybody lives, Rose! Everybody lives! I need more days like this! Go on, ask me anything; I’m on fire! Life depends on change and renewal. I’m half human. On my mother’s side.

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10.03.2014

They’re all gone now

Butterfingers. It may be irrational of me, but human beings are my favorite species. Geronimo! Boring. And I hate hotels. When I say run, run. …RUN! You’ve had this place redecorated, haven’t you? Hmm, don’t like it. Kidneys! I have kidneys. And I don’t like the colour. Powerful! Crush the lesser races! Conquer the galaxy! UNIMAGINABLE POWER! UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING! Et cetera! Et cetera! Excellent. Blow up that vehicle. Change, my dear. And it seems not a moment too soon. We all have a universe of our own terrors to face.

An unintelligent enemy is far less dangerous than an intelligent one…. I’m half human. On my mother’s side. You may be a doctor. But I’m the Doctor. The definite article, you might say. Shut up, K-9! There was a war. A Time War. The Last Great Time War. My people fought a race called the Daleks, for the sake of all creation. And they lost. We lost. Everyone lost. They’re all gone now. My family. My friends. Even that sky. Are you listening to me? My last incarnation…oh, I was never happy with that one. It had a sort of feckless ‘charm’ which simply wasn’t me.

And I’m looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind, I didn’t just wake up this morning with a craving. New-new-Doctor. We are not of this race. We are not of this earth. Susan and I are wanderers in the fourth dimension of time and space. I just have one question… do you know how to fly this thing? Jamie, remind me to give you a lesson in tying knots, sometime. The world’s about to end, and here I am, stuck in traffic. I’m half human. On my mother’s side. Kidneys! I have kidneys. And I don’t like the colour.

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10.03.2014

I want to see the universe, not rule it

It seems you have a very large rat Brigadier—maybe you should employ the services of a very large cat? People spend all their time making nice things and then other people come along and break them! Pure mathematics can not lie! Goodbye…my Sarah Jane! Don’t be sad Grace. You’ll do great things. Kidneys! I have kidneys. And I don’t like the colour. Geronimo! Two wrongs don’t make a left turn. Now would you stand aside before I shoot myself? Goodbye… Fancypants! Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.

All thirteen! Yes, that’s right, you’re going. You’ve been gone for ages. You’re already gone. You’re still here. You’ve just arrived. I haven’t even met you yet. It all depends on who you are and how you look at it. Strange business, time. Butterfingers. Every great decision creates ripples. Like a huge boulder dropping in a lake. The ripples merge and rebound off the banks in unforseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences. People spend all their time making nice things and then other people come along and break them!

For some people, small, beautiful events are what life is all about! I am not a student of human nature. I am a professor of a far wider academy of which human nature is merely a part. It’s all right for you, Peri. You’ve only got one life. You’ll age here in the TARDIS and then die. But me, I shall go on regenerating until all my lives are spent. Not allowed? Not allowed? Me, I’m allowed everywhere. Kidneys! I have kidneys. And I don’t like the colour. Dreams are important…never underestimate them.

I’m Dr. James McCrimmon from the township of Balamory. Courage isn’t a matter of not being frightened, it’s being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway. Small though it is, the human brain can be quite effective when working at full efficiency, not unlike myself! The past is another country. 1987′s just the Isle of Wight. All thirteen! Physician, heal thyself. Oh I’m so sorry, Jamie. I had to face my fear…that was more important than just going on living…. Oh, I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn’t have to end. I hate endings!

All thirteen! Grace, I came back to life before your eyes. I held back death. Look, I can’t make your dream come true forever, but I can make it come true today. Jelly baby? Don’t worry, Brigadier. People will be shooting at you soon. Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I’m saving the world? Have a jelly baby. That’s the trouble with regeneration. You quite never know what you’re going to get. I don’t have a future. Well, there’s a probability of anything. Statistically speaking, if you gave typewriters to a treeful of monkeys, they’d eventually produce the works of William Shakespeare.

One day, just one day, maybe I’ll meet somebody who gets the whole ‘don’t wander off’ thing. My ship…my TARDIS… It may be irrational of me, but human beings are my favorite species. Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I’ve never been ginger! And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were! You gave up on me! Ooh, that’s rude. Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger. No idea. Just do what I do: hold tight and pretend it’s a plan. Goodbye… Fancypants! There’s something that doesn’t make sense. Let’s go and poke it with a stick.

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10.03.2014

The definite article

And I’m looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind, I didn’t just wake up this morning with a craving. New-new-Doctor. We are not of this race. We are not of this earth. Susan and I are wanderers in the fourth dimension of time and space. I just have one question… do you know how to fly this thing? Jamie, remind me to give you a lesson in tying knots, sometime. The world’s about to end, and here I am, stuck in traffic. I’m half human. On my mother’s side. Kidneys! I have kidneys. And I don’t like the colour.

Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted. All thirteen! You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords. It’s all right for you, Peri. You’ve only got one life. You’ll age here in the TARDIS and then die. But me, I shall go on regenerating until all my lives are spent. You ain’t seen nothing yet! Run. One day, just one day, maybe I’ll meet somebody who gets the whole ‘don’t wander off’ thing.

Nine hundred years of time and space, and I’ve never been slapped by someone’s mother. Your species has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity when trying to destroy itself. My dear Miss Shaw, I never report myself anywhere, particularly not forthwith. Oh, the pointing again! They’re screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them? You’ll never understand. I want to see the universe, not to rule it. Yeah? Well I’m the Lord of Time. Don’t you think she looks tired?