They’re all gone now



They’re all gone now

Butterfingers. It may be irrational of me, but human beings are my favorite species. Geronimo! Boring. And I hate hotels. When I say run, run. …RUN! You’ve had this place redecorated, haven’t you? Hmm, don’t like it. Kidneys! I have kidneys. And I don’t like the colour. Powerful! Crush the lesser races! Conquer the galaxy! UNIMAGINABLE POWER! UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING! Et cetera! Et cetera! Excellent. Blow up that vehicle. Change, my dear. And it seems not a moment too soon. We all have a universe of our own terrors to face.

An unintelligent enemy is far less dangerous than an intelligent one…. I’m half human. On my mother’s side. You may be a doctor. But I’m the Doctor. The definite article, you might say. Shut up, K-9! There was a war. A Time War. The Last Great Time War. My people fought a race called the Daleks, for the sake of all creation. And they lost. We lost. Everyone lost. They’re all gone now. My family. My friends. Even that sky. Are you listening to me? My last incarnation…oh, I was never happy with that one. It had a sort of feckless ‘charm’ which simply wasn’t me.

And I’m looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind, I didn’t just wake up this morning with a craving. New-new-Doctor. We are not of this race. We are not of this earth. Susan and I are wanderers in the fourth dimension of time and space. I just have one question… do you know how to fly this thing? Jamie, remind me to give you a lesson in tying knots, sometime. The world’s about to end, and here I am, stuck in traffic. I’m half human. On my mother’s side. Kidneys! I have kidneys. And I don’t like the colour.

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